Five Times Tina Walked In on Blaine and Kurt
by chemiglee
Summary: There are five times that Tina walks in on Blaine and Kurt and one time that Blaine and Kurt walk in on Tina. This is the story of how all of that happened. Thank you for all of your reviews! COMPLETE.


I

The first time wasn't even that bad. The Lima Bean is everyone's favorite hangout. It isn't as expensive as Starbucks but they can sit at the overstuffed couches and pretend they're like the friends in Friends. The place is loud and noisy, because it's after school and after some of the college classes let out. Students and professionals barely out of college keep running in and out with laptops and headphones. They put their smartphones on the tables next to their tall cups of mocha and fancy themselves as busy grownups on schedules.

Kurt and Blaine aren't noticing any of that because it's not as important as they are. Blaine props his chin on his hand and reaches over to hold one of Kurt's. There's a half-eaten blueberry muffin next to Kurt's other hand, but it's not going to be finished.

"I think I'm going to stare at you until I never forget just how beautiful you are now. So when we're both old and grey haired and looking over the Maine coast, I'll remember the stars in your eyes and the light on your face."

Kurt flushes faintly. Blaine's pretty speeches always leave him speechless. How did he ever get so lucky? "I'll never get tired of hearing that from you." Blue sky eyes meet green-gold ones.

Blaine just smiles and it brightens up his entire face. Kurt returns it and the stars fill Blaine's mind's eye.

Blaine's cup threatens to tip over to the floor.

"Oh - hey! Your coffee's going to - "

Tina catches it right before it tumbles down. She abruptly puts it back on the table in front of Blaine. It's really the sound of her full backpack hitting the seat of the third chair that actually breaks the magical spell being woven artfully around two boys at the Lima Bean.

"I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to the restroom - " and she dashes off. She didn't even notice.

Their smiles go rueful and shy and Kurt looks down at his muffin. But neither of them let go of each other. This holds true even after they break up, two years later.

II

The second time is poignant now there's too much memory between them; now, beautiful years together and firsts together and the perfect proms and then the memory of the time they both jumped off the cliff, away from each other, and alone. It's painful to heal, but it is healing. Sort of. At least they're talking on the phone and they can discuss the logistics of Just Can't Get Enough and even laugh about what happens on crazy days in New York and crazy days in Lima.

Kurt worries faintly that they might never be back to the same place they were before all of this happened. He actually doesn't like this new uncomfortable territory of ex-boyfriends and disappointment and regrets. Because Blaine's a friend and then he's much, much, much more than just a friend at the same time. It makes things so complicated and tricky.

The old guard of the Glee club is at Mercedes' house, pre-Schuester wedding, and they're waiting on Blaine and Tina. Everyone's talking and drinking coffee and admiring their dress-up gear. Kurt flicks the living room curtain aside and so he's the first one to see them arrive. Blaine parks - so carefully, so like him - but Tina jumps out of the passenger side of the Prius almost before he's finished. Kurt suppresses the little whimper of hurt inside because, well, he's going to have to be able to handle meeting him in public places among their friends.

Tina opens the front door in a whirl. The brass knocker almost flies off, that's how happy she is to see him. Kurt's immediately brought back to earth by the ferocity of her hug. "Kurt! You look so good!" A happy smile and a smacking kiss on the cheek and she's off to the other side of the living room to greet Mercedes just as fiercely. Mercedes, gorgeous in that pink dress that sets off her beautiful skin, pulls Tina into the kitchen. Kurt hadn't noticed the hectic flush and the too-bright gleam in Tina's eyes, but Mercedes did.

Tina's greeting had all happened so quickly that Blaine's almost standing next to him in the living room before Kurt finally notices him. So all the feeling hits him like an avalanche.

Kurt knew of course, what Blaine looked like, but for some reason he'd forgotten just how charmingly Blaine could emulate Old Hollywood. His beautiful eyes are shining, light maple syrup haloed by greenish gold. His hair is - just _is_, and there's not a wrinkle in the faultless tux peeking under a tailored black wool overcoat. You could see, or imagine, two handsome reflections on his shoes, because Kurt's not currently looking down at Blaine's shoes. His body is trim and the clothes just cover a frame that Kurt knows is just as flawless. The light, crisp scent of his cologne floats over and finishes Kurt off, rolls him up, he's now lost.

Kurt doesn't have time to consider what Tina's got on her mind because now he's got something else on his mind. He lifts his hand and plays with the little silver chain on his bowtie.

Blaine sees him. He smiles hesitantly - _will you be nice? will this get weird?_ - but something settles reassuringly on his shoulders, because it broadens. He smiles with utter love, and it consumes his perfect face in a gentle haze of light. His glance goes faintly hawkish and there's a slight catch of breath when his eyes flick down to Kurt's collar.

Kurt is being consumed by something else. So when they hug together, him - "It's so nice to see you again"; proper words entirely appropriate for two good, good friends meeting after a long separation - it's a little too intimate. And when Kurt pulls Blaine around the corner in the little hallway jutting off from Mercedes' parents' living room, his kiss is too hot and needy and tongues swirling frantically around lips and teeth and acts of desperation, clinging to Blaine like he's drowning, hands in hair. Kurt's back slams against the wall and the family pictures on it rattle faintly. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's waist and presses his hips too close. Too close, but somehow it's okay. The temperature rises sharply. Blaine moves swiftly and surely down Kurt's neck, to the especially sensitive places that send thrills up and down his spine and wipe all conscious, rational thought completely from Kurt's now very occupied mind.

It's getting good and Kurt's hands are beginning to wander down onto interesting places when a shadow falls on them and it says, pointedly, "Ahem."

Blaine pushes his head up from Kurt's neck, where a little purplish bruise might be starting to form, and grins contritely.

"Sorry, Tina."

Tina yanks Blaine away by the arm, throws Kurt a supremely "We are not amused" Queen Victoria look, and sweeps off around the corner to the living room. Blaine's long dark eyelashes flutter over his half-closed, hazy eyes and it's all he can do to wiggle his fingers in a gesture of goodbye. But there's a promise there, too. _I'll most definitely see you later. _

Kurt watches them go and puts his fingers over his own kiss-swollen lips. They do see each other again, in the back of the Prius at the church, and this time they steam up the windows. Queen Victoria / Tina would have not approved of that either.

III

The third time started when Blaine ducked out of the hotel ballroom and met Kurt, just post-wedding or post-the-wedding-that-wasn't. It's all Blaine this time and it starts with a casual finger tracing the edge of Kurt's bowtie.

Blaine looks up and says, out of context, "We need to go practice a bit for Just Can't Get Enough."

Kurt really does feel terrible for poor Mr. Schue. The groom-who-wasn't fell down dejectedly in front of the beautiful altar and he'd put his head in his hands. Finn was awkwardly patting his back as all the guests left, silent as a funeral, for the reception at the hotel. Mr. Schue deserved at least the courtesy of a flawless performance.

That's what he says to himself as the quick impromptu dance rehearsal in the hotel hallway leads to this supply closet - smelling of harsh chemicals, not romantic - and now he pushes Blaine up hungrily against the shelves of towels and the pile of mops in the corner. The one completely rational part of Kurt's mind thanks whoever they don't store open bottles in here because when he finally gets his hands on Blaine's warm golden skin, bleach won't spill on either of their clothes, though they'll need dry-cleaning afterwards and - oh, oh -

Tina, outside, definitely sounding very annoyed: "They need you two to go up on stage in a few so _hurry up and get out of there so I can have my date back!_"

Kurt lets go and throws his hands up in the air. Blaine just laughs softly and muffles his face in Kurt's rumpled shirt front.

IV and V

The fourth and fifth times happen in New York City, a city of endless possibility. It's also a city of noise, even at 6 am. And, uncharacteristically for him, Nightbird is the first one awake.

Kurt looks so peaceful when he sleeps. His limbs are loose and pale and his brown hair is slightly mussed. This is adorable. And Kurt hadn't even minded the whimsical Batman sheets. When the need is there, Kurt's found that it doesn't actually matter what the sheets look like as long as they're clean. And they're used to being expertly quiet by now. But his roommates don't know yet that Blaine had had a late-night gentleman caller and Nightbird's not especially eager to get a ribbing from them this early in the morning.

Nightbird hates to do this but it's got to be done. He whispers, "Kurt, Kurt - " and gently shakes his shoulder.

Kurt's awake in an instant, or that could be the honk of a taxi horn on the street below. "Blaine - what - what are you wearing?"

Kurt hasn't yet met Nightbird. Blaine forgot about that part, so this might actually get awkward. He'll just have to apply the puppy eyes and hope to explain much more later when his civilian identity is back in place.

"We have to go and you've got to get home before Rachel and Santana start in on you."

"We - what? Can we talk about _this_ first?" And Kurt scrambles out of bed, running his fingers through his hair. He stands in front of Nightbird and puts both his hands on an extremely muscular superhero chest. _I could get used to that part_.

Nightbird swirls his dark cape around them to wrap them both in completely. "I'm Nightbird, the Nocturnal Avenger. And I love you more than anyone and anything in this world."

Kurt blinks, but he's a performer, too; he knows his cues. He flutters his eyelashes so the blue shows between them, to devastating effect. "Oh, Nightbird, are you here to save me from your roommates?"

"Nightbird will cloak you so you will go unnoticed by his roommates."

By this point, Kurt just habitually packs an overnight bag and a change of clothes and uses a speeded-up version of his skincare ritual; he's just going to have to shower and brush his teeth at home and it's gross, but this is what you do for love and as long as he doesn't talk for prolonged moments to anyone, it's all right. Once he's dressed, Kurt lets Nightbird lead him out of the bedroom. Tiptoeing as much as he dared, bag in tow, but how Nightbird manages to keep the cloak as much over him as is safe is obviously one of his superhero secrets.

At the door, Kurt can't help but to lean down a little and nuzzle Nightbird softly. The kiss just happens and Nightbird holds Kurt tight. The cape is warm and lovely and he could just stay in here all day long but -

Footsteps come up behind them. The hallway light turns on.

"I per_suade_ you to stop making out in our hallway!"

Kurt's now just confused. Tina looks lovely, but why is she shamelessly exploiting Asian stereotypes in that dress?

Sam's blonde head peeks out from his open door. Tenessee drawl meets exaggerated British Shakespearian accent: "Number One, you shall - _not_ - engage your boyfriend. We have a mission. We must explore new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before."

This vile indignity of Sam voicing the great Sir Patrick Stewart is what finally tears Kurt away from Nightbird's very cozy embrace.

"What is going on?" But it's not coherent, and he sputters. This is probably one of the few times in his life in Kurt's life when he doesn't know what exactly to say (much less with sass, because all sass is gone) because what do you say when your boyfriend and his two roommates do _this_?

Kurt puts his left hand on his hip and waves his hand around in a circle to encompass both Asian Stereotypes Lady and Blond Impressions Guy.

Nightbird takes pity on him and breaks character. He glances over at him -_ do you think this is weird? This is me_ - and says, eyes softening:

"We go down to the public library and read to the kids every other Saturday. That's why we're up so early. It's just fun to ride the subway in our costumes and the kids really love sitting on our laps. I think they think we're real superheroes."

Sam nods once before he and the edge of his black turtleneck dip back into his room to finish getting ready. Tina doesn't say anything else this time; she crosses her arms, and gazes at them as the red tassels graze her cheeks. She stands there for a second or two before disappearing discreetly into the bathroom.

Kurt can't help but to kiss him again. He's going to be perfectly okay with being Nightbird's Lois Lane. Maybe even forever, some day.

"Nightbird. You really are my hero."

The fifth time Tina interrupts Blaine and Kurt is only to press something into Kurt's fingers as she slips silently by them in the hall, still kissing, to wait outside.

It's not until Kurt is back on the subway to Bushwick that he opens his fist to look at what Tina gave him. It's a copy of their apartment key.

VI

It's such a beautiful reception and the pink and white roses wrapped with gold ribbon are absolutely divine. It's the same hotel where Kurt and Blaine had reunited, years ago now. But it's no less elegant. The wood gleams in the light of a thousand candles. The food is catered and French. The champagne, imported and sparkly. The speeches are funny and affectionate. The music is light and utterly romantic. Both Kurt and Blaine love string music and the string quintet in the ballroom are all friends of Blaine's from New York. And the perfect little centerpieces that Kurt had made himself, weaving in hopes and dreams for a brilliant future. And the vows; but those are so heartfelt and personal that it's almost best not to speak of them. They're officially now together forever.

In the men's bathroom, Blaine and Kurt are preening in front of the mirror and luxuriating in themselves; they're procrastinating before having to go out and meet people. They had managed to get contrasting bowties and boutonnieres and with their black tuxes, they're both absolutely stunning. Of course they do; they're a stunning pair to begin with. They always were and they always will be, together and forever, always.

Kurt smooths down his jacket, humming a few bars of a very beautiful, very timeless song.

Blaine reaches over and takes Kurt's hand. He'll never get tired of doing that, and now, he won't ever have to stop.

"Are you ready to go out to them?"

Kurt smiles. "I was born ready."

But Kurt looks so good in that tux, so ten minutes later Blaine tells himself he can't be held responsible for leading Kurt by the hand away from the stately dancing and searching up and down the hallway for a room, for any room.

"This door is open - "

There's a scream.

Blaine throws the door open wide and now he can't move. Over Blaine's shoulder, Kurt spies a pool of white fluffy Vera Wang and a puddle of tulle veil and curls falling out their updo and possibly parts of Tina Cohen-Chang that were only seen by her parents, her ex-boyfriends, and her gynaecologist. Possibly, because both Kurt and Blaine had averted their eyes immediately, so the horror of the scene is more evocative than anything else.

Blaine turns red and Kurt turns pink and Tina just looks furious.

Mike looks up at the door, his tie askew. A crease appears on his forehead and the pink and white roses have fallen off of his lapel. He points at the door and Tina points at the door and at the same time, they yell again in unison. _How do they do that?_

"Hummel-Andersons! **GET**. **OUT!**"

This time, Blaine and Kurt Hummel-Anderson don't dawdle. They slam the door behind them and they get the heck out of there.


End file.
